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1 Apr

It’s that time of year to part with your savings and head down to your local travel agency, and book a well deserved holiday this summer! As shops give the heave-ho to wooly jumper’s and coat’s, what better way to spend this weekend dreaming of sun, sea and sand by checking out the latest swimwear collections!?

Many high street shops have already displayed a wide collection of swimwear with some great new styles, noticeably from brands such as LaSenza, Topshop and Seafolly to browse through. However, as designers hit the catwalk with their latest swimwear for 2011, many display some questionable pieces that may raise one of two eyebrows if worn on the beach!

Here are my top ten questionable swimwear of 2011….

10. The 12 year old girl
Resort underwired bikini. Littlewoods. £15.00.

You may question why this is on my top 10 list. But with it’s outdated print and style it looks like something you have pulled out from the attic from when you were 12. The DD top and mid waist shorts are a big thumbs down, which will make a curvy woman look short and square.

9.The Flashdance
Pink Star Print Swimsuit. River Island. £29.99

Not quite sure if they are reaching to Glee of Flashdance fans, I can’t see this piece flying off the racks anytime this decade.

8.The desperate housewive
Beach Bunny Ready-To-Wear.Vogue.
Vogue have a few questionable pieces in their new S/S collection this year, which I could argue are certainly not ready to wear. This piece in particular would be nearly impossible to sunbathe in, with metal hoops that could leave nasty burns on your front and sides. Okay to look at, but not something worth packing for holiday.

7.The crocheted look
Crocheted Monokini. Victoria’s Secret. £115.00

I once worked in Australia’s top designer bikini store, and from experience, I know this style is a BIG fashion no-no. The crocheted style in the middle never seems to fit, if your body is too small it will gape, and if too long it will not fit your bust correctly. Besides, if you are hoping to get a tan, this one-piece will leave behind some not so trendy patterns. Even the Victoria’s Secret model doesn’t sell it for me.

6.The plain Jane
Mis Softee Halter. Juicy Couture. £54.00

If it doesn’t look great on the model, it probably won’t look great on anyone else. The sagging top is very unflattering along with the pasty colour. The mid waist shorts also shout out uncool.

5. The Jordan wannabe
Beach Bunny Swimwear. Vogue
Another piece from Vogue which questions their target fashion market. The uncomfortable looking one piece looks like something from Katie Price’s wardrobe.

4.The uninviting goth
Studded Black Bikini.Lilth.
The gothic look on a whole is a fashion blunder for spring/summer. This tacky looking bikini will make everyone run far far away. If you are a fan of the gothic look, take a leaf out of singer PINK’S bikini look, where she mixes cute skull bikini’s with feminine frills.

3. The minimal queen
It’s hard to grasp everything about the not-so one piece. Look closer and you may find a tiny strip they may argue as the bottoms. Wear it and you could face many angry parents telling you to cover up on the beach. This particular suit must be extremely uncomfortable to wear, and I hope in the future we will never see it become a major fashion trend.

2.The parent’s nightmare
Crystal Encrustaed Black Mesh String.Malibustrings.£59.00
Yes. This is a bikini. The title pretty much sums up what is wrong with this ghastly set.

1.The D.I.Y
BodyPaint as requested.
Art or fashion…or neither? I certainly think that this wannabe fashion trend disaster  deserves to be placed at no.1. Creator Mark Greenawalt suggests his body paints are “The perfect future form of swimwear. Water resistance, stays up and on and even, sexy tan lines.” Hmm…. i’m not so sure about that.